Alone in a snug phone booth at 8:32 am in my local San Ramon WeWork, wooden rosary in hand and a black mug of coffee releasing gentle tendrils of warmth on the shelf table before me. In the peace before my morning prayers. I’m struck with an idea.
Heaven is not, of course, a chronic heroin high atop clouds approaching asymptotically the physical limit of delicacy. But could it be living at home with my family in my late 20s?
Working the hardest I’ve ever worked on a problem that evokes beauty, meaning, and art between me and my business partner, with whom I have total trust and confidence. Knowing if we nail it, we’ll create a generational company.
Inundated constantly with stress and worry resultant from not having much figured out. The awkwardness of struggling to encapsulate our mission in pithy blurbs. Inoptimal sleep. Pressure. Panic. But, symmetrically, flashes of excitement with hopes of figuring it out one day. Soon.
Having all of your close friends, old bosses, and work colleagues financially back you. Being confident in their investment because the path to making them a return is lucid. And having many others help so much without any expectation of financial return. Hoping one day to hire them.
Craving at times, but not often, for a social or dating life that is otherwise largely absent. Or for title and money. Such thoughts hiding erratically behind more existential concerns. Little struggle except in some particularly low moments.
Some of the highest highs I’ve ever felt. Sober.
Gratitude for the grace that is helping us persevere. Faith in what we’re doing and in the power pushing us along the path. Knowing without it, we are dust.
It isn’t heaven, but I think it’s surprisingly close. With such fun oxymoronic implications of the idea and happiness in general, which I will forfeit gesticulating about till another time.
It kinda sucks in the moment, but it’s also amazing in these brief glimpses when you can zoom out and witness it all at once.
This week, I flew to Lisbon for an undefined amount of time to work in person with my team. The year-long San Ramon saga is seemingly coming to a close, and a new chapter is unfolding. What adventures await?!
I’m reminded of what Phil Knight, the founder of Nike, had this to say at the end of his autobiography:
“...my secret regret, is that I can’t do it over again. God, how I wish I could relive the whole thing.”
I hope one day I can say the same.
Super excited for your next chapter!